History is filled with examples of people who ended up successful who started with nothing and others who overcame the most challenging of circumstances. Learn as much as a you can from those who overcome. What you’ll find is that you CAN improve your self-confidence if you work at it.
People who build self confidence are committed to not avoiding things, keep promises to themselves, and they don’t play it safe.
What do you believe about these 4 CONFIDENCE statements?
- I was made for a purpose, and if I allow it, great things are ahead for me.
- I’m a worthy regardless of my performance, successes, and failures.
- There are people who love me just as I am regardless of my performance, successes, and failures.
- I have great influence over my future because of the DECISIONS I make to value myself.
If you believed all of the above in your heart – and you should because they’re true – how would that impact you? I mean really believe. Not just a cognitive “in your head” type of belief, but a confident “I know these things are really true about me” experiential type of belief. What would happen? How would I think differently?
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Confidence means having faith in yourself and believing the best about yourself. Rate your current level of overall self-confidence on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 is low and 10 is high). Or rate your confidence in a specific area of your life (e.g. socially, career, etc.) Now imagine having a confidence level of 10 consistently and answer the following 6 questions. Write down whatever comes up for you.
6 Questions to Overcome Your Biggest Fears
Answer the following questions imaging your confidence level was at a 10 and that you fully believe each of the 4 confidence statements above.
1. How would I act/behave differently around others?
Examples: Friendly, smile more, engage people, laugh more, share my opinion, express appreciation, express disagreement, be forgiving, initiate social activities, express gratitude, stand tall, look people in the eyes, speak clearly, slow down, etc.
2. What would I start doing or do more often?
Examples: Try new things, exercise, network, go to concerts, go to church, yoga, journaling, delegate tasks, encourage people, call friends and family, set boundaries, follow my schedule, go to bed earlier, engage positive people more, etc.
3. What would I stop doing that I do now?
Examples: Worry, working too much, procrastinating, criticizing others, overspending, nicotine, social media, limit alcohol, hanging out with negative people, 2nd guessing myself, being late, perfectionism, fixating on the worst outcome, etc.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
4. How would my perspective about myself, my life, people, and my circumstances change?
Examples: Seeing my value, recognizing opportunities, gratitude, trusting people, trusting my intuition, “I can get through this”, “I’m blessed to have my friends and family”, focusing on hope rather than fear, “I’m grateful for my job”, etc.
5. What risks would I start taking that I’m afraid to take now?
Examples: Join a running club, reach out to friends from college, hire a new employee, sky dive, network, find a new job, start a new business, rock climb, public speaking, podcasting, volunteers, writing a blog, date, join a civic group, etc.
6. What goals would I set and work toward?
Examples: Lose 20 pounds, start a side hustle, finish my degree, run a marathon, travel to Europe, read a book each month, get certified in an area professionally, get my real estate license, entertain more often, learn a new skill, etc.
If your found this exercise helpful, here’s a downloadable fillable PDF worksheet called If I Had More Confidence.
Faith means you stop taking orders from your fears. Don’t let fear rob you of another day. If you like my style, go through my online coaching course Tune Up For Life by yourself or with a friend or spouse. Transform your relationships by learning about having a healthy perspective, loving yourself better, living with balance, living out your core values and life purpose, goal setting, developing healthy habits, and more.