What’s your biggest fear in life? Mine is probably rejection in its various forms. I want people to like me. Ironically, the more I try and be what other people want me to be, the more fear I have.
My anxiety also grows the more I hide from situations where I can be rejected. When I follow my heart, ignore my head, and put myself out there, anxiety loses its power.
“So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”Franklin D. Roosevelt, Inaugural Address, 3/4/1933
What do you believe about these 4 CONFIDENCE statements?
- I was made for a purpose, and if I allow it, great things are ahead for me.
- I’m a worthy regardless of my performance, successes, and failures.
- There are people who love me just as I am regardless of my performance, successes, and failures.
- I have great influence over my future because of the DECISIONS I make to value myself.
If you believed all of the above in your heart – and you should because they’re true – how would that impact you? I mean really believe. Not just a cognitive “in your head” type of belief, but a confident “I know these things are really true about me” experiential type of belief. What would happen? How would I think differently?
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8 Questions to Overcome Your Biggest Fears
Answer each of the following questions imaging that you fully believe each of the 4 confidence statement above.
1: How would I think differently?
Examples: Seeing the opportunities and not just the problems, trust good people
2: How would I behave differently around others?
Examples: Look people in the eyes, be friendly with others
3: What would I start doing more?
Examples: Meeting new people, going to concerts, going to church
4: What would I stop doing that I do now?
Examples: Letting my boss take advantage of my flexibility, hanging out with bad influences
5: Who would I spend most of my time with?
Examples: Eliminating negative people and engaging focused and positive people
6: What boundaries would I start setting with people?
Examples: Working no more than 50 hours each week, saying “no” to my brother more
7: What risks would I start taking that I’m afraid to take now?
Examples: Joining a running club, reaching out to friends from college, hiring a new employee
8: What goals would I set and work toward?
Examples: Losing 20 pounds, starting a business, getting my college degree, running a marathon
Faith means you stop taking orders from your fears. Don’t let fear rob you of another day. If you like my style, go through my online coaching course Tune Up For Life by yourself or with a friend or spouse. Transform your relationships by learning about having a healthy perspective, loving yourself better, living with balance, living out your core values and life purpose, goal setting, developing healthy habits, and more.