If you read How to Change Negative Core Beliefs (Part 1), you looked at 20 common limiting mindsets and 5 questions to help replace them. Below are real examples of ways people have replaced destructive core beliefs with empowering ones.
“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.” -Henry Ford
At a recent football game, my daughter, Emerson, saw one of her friends hanging out with some kids she didn’t know that well. She wanted to join the fun, but she was terrified of reaching out. Her mindset was “they will ignore me and I’ll be rejected”.
So I did what any good dad would do, I bribed her. I often bribe her with donuts, but this time I used cash. I offered her $5 if she sat down with them and started talking.
After 10 minutes of further coaxing, she accepted my offer and sat near her friend and said hello. After a few minutes this friend moved to sit closer to her. They started talking, hung out the rest of the game together, and had a great night. Our team won in double overtime (Go Maize South Mavericks!).
This might seem minor, but the fear of rejection/exclusion is incredibly powerful. Emerson was the big winner that night because she faced a fear.
Examples of Changed Negative Core Beliefs
1. “Things will never get better.”
Empowering Mindset: “I’m staying open to the opportunities and seeing the good that comes from all circumstances.”
2. “I’m a victim of my circumstances.”
Empowering Mindset: “I focus on what I can influence, do my best, and grow.”
3. “I must be almost perfect in whatever I do.”
Empowering Mindset: “I’m satisfied with a 7, not striving for a perfect 10.”
4. “I need people’s approval to be OK with myself.”
Empowering Mindset: “Some people will like what I do, some won’t, so what? I’m loving myself anyway.”
5. “I’m worthless because of my past.”
Empowering Mindset: “I’m unique, made for a purpose, and have great value.”
6. “It’s better to avoid life’s difficulties than to face them.”
Empowering Mindset: “Facing fears makes them shrink. I’m facing my fears and my life is getting better.”
7. “I should have achieved much more by now.”
Empowering Mindset: “I’m growing, and I’m on my way to the life I want to live.”
8. “I’m a failure.”
Empowering Mindset: “My failures help me grow. I’m gaining something valuable from each mistake.”
9. “I am awkward.”
Empowering Mindset: ” I’m proud to be me. There is nobody like me and never will be.”
10. “The worst results usually occur for me.”
Empowering Mindset: “I’m changing my thinking and actions for the better. Great results are ahead. “
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” – Abraham Lincoln
11. “It’s usually my fault.”
Empowering Mindset: “I own what is my fault and let others own their issues so they can grow.”
12. “People are not trustworthy.”
Empowering Mindset: “Some people are untrustworthy, but many people are good. I’m taking healthy risks to build relationships and growing.”
13. “I don’t deserve good things in life. I’m not worthy.”
Empowering Mindset: “Good things are ahead for me as I trust myself and make good decisions.”
14. “I have nothing to offer.”
Empowering Mindset: “God has equipped me with powerful and positive things I am giving to others.”
15. “I’m not good enough.”
Empowering Mindset: “I am enough today, and I have all that I need, even when I don’t feel it.”
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16. “I am not safe.”
Empowering Mindset: “I am resting in the love and care of God and have all I need.”
17. “I am alone/I don’t belong.”
Empowering Mindset: “Being vulnerable builds relationships. I’m connecting with the support that I need.”
18. “If I try new things and fail, people will view me negatively.”
Empowering Mindset: “I’m taking calculated risks and love myself regardless of what other people think.”
19. “I am responsible for other people’s happiness.”
Empowering Mindset: “I am letting people make their own decisions. They can choose to be happy or not.”
20. “People will judge/reject me if they see the real me.”
Empowering Mindset: “I am confidently being myself around others and loving myself. Many people accept me.”
Your empowering mindset needs to be something you can look at and believe is equally as true as your limiting perspective. Make it simple, true, hopeful, and something you can memorize. It’s possible to change even the most deeply held beliefs. Go back to the 5 questions from How to Change Negative Core Beliefs (Part 1) to create this new healthy perspective.
Click below for a worksheet that can help.
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Question: What helps you see, and focus on, the truth?