How to Change Negative Core Beliefs (Part 1)

5 Questions to Help You Change Your Beliefs For Good

October 27, 2018 |
By

Negative Self Image

In 5th grade an incident occurred that created deep negative core beliefs. My school principle verbally scolded and intentionally embarrassed me in front of a packed lunchroom. I was accused of causing lunchroom chaos, including dancing on a table.

She then pulled me her office where her and the vice-principle chastised me for what seemed like an hour. I cried hysterically, knowing I was completely innocent. I was a sensitive kid who didn’t cause problems.

Because I was threatened, I never told my parents until recent years. From them, I learned I was targeted in retaliation for a complaint they made about my brother’s 1st grade teacher. My sister, an 8th grader at the time, was targeted as well.

Me in 5th grade at St. Mels Catholic School. 1986

I rarely thought about this incident until a friend asked me about my first traumatic memory. This incident quickly came to mind. It was such a painful experience I tucked it deeply away, subconsciously believing forgetting it would somehow protect me from ever experiencing something so painful again. This event impacted my ability to trust people for decades.

Hopefully this article helps you see how trauma has impacted your view of yourself and the world. I hope you’re inspired to do the work to change your negative core beliefs.

Here are 20 common unhealthy core beliefs. Read each one twice asking yourself, “is this how I view myself and the world?”. Trust your intuition.

 

20 Common Limiting Mindsets

1. “Things will never get better.”
2. “I’m a victim of my circumstances.”
3. “I must be almost perfect in whatever I do.”
4. “I need people’s approval to be OK with myself.”
5. “I’m worthless because of my past.”
6. “It’s better to avoid life’s difficulties than to face them.”
7. “I should have achieved much more by now.”
8. “I’m a failure.”
9. “I am awkward.”
10. “The worst results usually occur for me.”

“Nothing can bring you peace, but yourself.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

11. “It’s usually my fault.”
12. “People are not trustworthy.”
13. “I don’t deserve good things in life. I am not worthy.”
14. “I have nothing to offer.”
15. “I’m not good enough.”
16. “I am not safe.”
17. “I’m alone/I don’t belong.”
18. “If I try new things and fail, people will view me negatively.”
19. “I am responsible for other people’s happiness.”
20. “People will judge/reject me if they see the real me.”

If you found this information helpful, SUBSCRIBE TODAY, and you’ll receive our Free PDF of 50 Great Relationship Building Questions AND our Free Life Balance TipseBook!

5 Questions to Help Replace Your Limiting Mindsets

These questions are adapted from the process of self inquiry from Byron Katy. What she calls, doing “The Work”.

1. Is it true?
2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do I react, what do I do, when I believe this is true?
4. Who would I be, how would I react, without this thought?
5. What’s a new, accurate, and hopeful view, that’s equally as true?

Figuring out why you started having this perspective, (e.g. childhood, trauma, etc.) is also an extremely important question to answer, yet more difficult.

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” – Mark Twain

Click below for a worksheet that can help.

Replace Your Negative Core Beliefs Worksheet

A client frequently thought, “I don’t deserve good things in life”. He felt his future was doomed because of a mistake he made years ago. This belief caused severe anxiety that held him back for decade. With some effort, he changed “I don’t deserve good things in life” to “I forgive myself and making good decisions now. Good things are ahead”. This perspective change turned his life around.

Changing negative core beliefs is hard work, but you CAN do it! The results you get in life are directly related to your focus. Doing “The Work” will change your life!

If you like my style, and found this helpful, SUBSCRIBE TO TUNE UP FOR LIFE. Learn about healthy thinking skills, self concept, life balance, core values, life purpose, goal setting, transformational habits, and more.

Question: Which of these negative core beliefs cause you issues?

Related Content

How to Change Negative Core Beliefs (Part 2)
Anyone Can Struggle with Anxiety (Part 1)
What to Do When Emotionally Overwhelmed
A Simple and Powerful Stress Coping Tool
Hope vs. Fear Cycles
How to Stop Worrying & Get Out of Your Head


SHARE with your FRIENDS

Does life ever seem overwhelming?Sign up to receive our FREE book Life Balance Tips!

Also receive bi-weekly tips for improving your marriage, career, finances and health.