18 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

emotional health & well-being productivity & habits self-care & personal growth Feb 18, 2025

As your self-confidence improves, other parts of your life improve as well. Often relationships strengthen, you see opportunities you missed before, and your focus & creativity improve. You CAN improve your self-confidence by taking action.

While you might believe that self-confidence is something you develop and feel before taking action, the opposite is true. You build self-confidence and feel energized after you take the right actions.

Prefer to listen? I talk through practical ways to strengthen your confidence and take courageous action in this episode of the Decide Your Legacy podcast:

18 Self-Confidence Building Actions

Action #1: Take Risks, Fail, Get up

When you fail, get rejected, feel embarrassed, and still choose to believe in yourself, you are growing.

Commit to doing two scary things today or tomorrow. Make the phone call. Ask for the sale. Sign up for the class. Reach out to an old friend. Start a conversation with someone new.

Your self-confidence grows when you take action, risk discomfort, and let go of the outcome.

Action #2: Have Boundaries with Others

If you're not comfortable with how someone in your family treats you, make your concerns clear. If someone violates a boundary you have established, kindly push back. Stay true to yourself. Respect yourself!

Action #3: Keep Boundaries with Yourself

If you make a commitment, do whatever you can to keep it. If you commit to getting up at 6 am to work out, keep this promise to yourself. Each time you keep promises to yourself, your faith in yourself grows. Each time you compromise, your view of yourself is damaged.

Action #4: Know Yourself & Love Yourself

You cannot be yourself until you start getting to know yourself. Pay attention to what gives you energy, what drains you, what you enjoy, and what you keep avoiding. Journaling is one of the simplest ways to notice patterns, tell yourself the truth, and get clearer about who you are becoming.

Want all 100 journaling prompts in one place?

Journaling is easier when you have the right question in front of you. Download the free 100 Journaling Prompts PDF and use it when you need clarity, reflection, or a reset.

Print it, save it, or keep it nearby for your quiet time, personal growth work, coaching sessions, or moments when you feel stuck.

Get the Free 100 Journaling Prompts PDF

Action #5: Deal With Your Past

You cannot heal something that you deny impacts you. My clients have found freedom in accepting their past. Join a support group. Hire a great therapist. Learn how to let go of the past so it no longer influences your future.

Action #6: Put Yourself First

Unhealthy and codependent people put others' needs ahead of their own. They fear they could be rejected if they say "no" and set boundaries, and that they will soon lose themselves. Take time for self-care. Buy yourself something nice. Splurge. You're worth it.

Action #7: Be Grateful & Assured

Choose to focus on what you have rather than what you don't have. Choose to focus on your opportunities, not your obstacles. When you need a boost, go to gratitude.

Action #8: Express Your Emotions

Identify how you feel, why you feel that way, and what you need. Kindly tell others. Be assertive. Have the courage to be emotionally honest and ask for what you need and want.

Action #9: Trust God

Step 3 of the 12 steps states, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." Choose to trust that no matter what, you WILL make it through. There is ALWAYS HOPE!

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Action #10: Be Humble

I can be filled with self-pity. I can be arrogant. Both perspectives are faulty and ego-driven. I'm at my best when I'm humble, remembering that I'm no better and no worse than anyone else. I'm best when I remember my true value.

Action #11: Take a Break from Work

Stepping away from work is hard for me, partly because I love it. Taking a break helps you understand what's important. It also motivates you to be more efficient. It increases my creativity. Track the number of hours you work each week and learn to delegate. Take half and full days off consistently.

Action #12: Create a Vision

Create a clear picture in your mind of what you want your life to be like in the future. It could be 2, 5, 10, or 20 years from now. Be specific about your dreams. Spend time reflecting on this vision and live today as if it were your reality. Here's an article and worksheet that can help.

Action #13: Go to Acceptance

This is key to unlocking the joy of today. Acceptance of yourself, others, your past, and your current circumstances gives you a foundation to build upon. You may need to say the Serenity Prayer over and over again.

"God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference." ~ Reinhold Niebuhr

Action #14: Explore Your Options

It might not feel like it, but you DO have options. Look into new career opportunities, hobbies, travel, and friendships. You CAN be loyal to your current obligations while keeping your heart open to new opportunities. Options increase hope!

Action #15: Focus on a Plan

I've had 3 different life coaches. In some fashion, they've all helped me clarify a plan for my life. They have challenged me to go further than I thought possible. In most cases, an OK plan that you follow is much better than a great plan that you don't engage with.

"Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. When one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her."
~ Lao Tzu

Action #16: Live in The Now

All you have is today. Focus on making the most of each moment. Do the next right thing that God puts in front of you. Choose to let go of past mistakes and failures. When you're talking to someone, put energy into understanding them rather than them understanding you. Let go of the outcome!

Action #17: Improve Your Social Skills

Do something every day to get better socially. Gain skills in successfully dealing with people. Read and apply the information from books like How to How to Talk to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell.

Action #18: Be Generous

Be generous with your time and resources to help others. Your motivation shouldn't be to fix people, but rather to inspire them to see their potential. Being genuinely curious about others is generous as well. Asking great questions shows others how much you value them.

Take the next step.

These 18 actions can help you build confidence, but the deeper issue is often courage.

If you want to become more confident, less anxious, and more willing to take action in the areas that matter most, go through Shatterproof Yourself Lite. In 7 small steps, you’ll learn how to face fear, build confidence, and move toward the life and relationships you actually want.

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