How to Connect With People
Feb 16, 2022
Nobody can succeed and thrive in life without loving relationships. We are not fueled long-term by achievement. We are fueled when we connect with others.
If you get this backward, you'll feel worthless when you fail, life stops going well, or others achieve more. Furthermore, you'll end up miserable as a victim of the comparison trap.
Very few people feel deeply worthy. Both your friends and your enemies, if they're honest with themselves, struggle with feeling inadequate. People desperately want to feel accepted, and you can help them by expressing genuine interest in their lives. You CAN be a light!
Challenge yourself to collect information on the "favorites" of your friends, family, and co-workers. When you subtly, or even bluntly, gather this information, it makes them feel valued. It also gives you insight into how to encourage them in the future.
I've found that most people light up when someone is curious about them. Most people want to be known, not anonymous. Some things that I love to know about pretty much anyone are ........
- What's a hidden talent that you have?
- Where you grew up?
- What are your hobbies and interests?
- Favorite musicians and bands?
- Favorite foods, snacks, pop?
Want to connect with more confidence?
Connection takes courage, especially when you feel awkward, compare yourself to others, or worry about being rejected.
Shatterproof Yourself Lite gives you 7 small steps to help you reduce anxiety, build confidence, and take courageous action in your life and relationships.
Download the Know Thyself Worksheet
Want a simple way to better understand yourself and build deeper connections with others?
This Know Thyself Worksheet is one I’ve used to help clients reflect on who they are, what matters to them, and how they relate to others. It fits here because healthy relationships grow when we take action to know people more deeply, including ourselves.
You can use these questions personally, or you can use them to create more meaningful conversations with someone else. You can only go as deep with others as you are willing to go with yourself.
Get the Free Know Thyself Worksheet
One caution: do not use this activity unless you are willing to listen. People can tell when you are rushed, distracted, or insincere. Look for natural opportunities, ask with curiosity, and give the other person room to answer honestly.
Click the button below for a worksheet I've used to help clients get to know themselves. Why am I using a self-reflection activity in an article on building relationships? Because you can use the same questions to create or deepen connection with others! It turns out relationships - whether with yourself or others - come from taking action to know more about a person. You can only go as deep with someone else as you have with yourself.
Don't engage in this activity unless you're willing to listen. People will notice if you're hurried or insincere. Look for natural opportunities to ask.
Your co-workers will probably forget that you gathered these favorites. I've had fun getting someone their favorite candy and them wondering how I knew they liked it.
Even people who dislike me enjoy conversations about their interests. Use this tool to transform your relationships at work and in life.
Take the next step.
Stronger connection starts when you stop waiting to feel fearless and start taking courageous action.
If you want to become more confident, less anxious, and more willing to move toward people, go through Shatterproof Yourself Lite. In 7 small steps, you’ll learn how to face fear, build confidence, and create the kind of relationships and legacy you actually want.
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