Action Beats Anxiety: 10 Scary Actions to Build Confidence and Overcome Fear

In seventh grade, on the last day of school, a classmate kept shoving me from behind during a school assembly. I asked him to stop—more than once—but he didn’t. Finally, I told myself, If he does it one more time, I’ll take action. When he shoved me again, I followed through.

Walking out of that building for summer break, something had shifted. I believed—maybe for the first time—that I could stand up for myself.

Years later, at 21, I had a crush on a woman in a nearby sorority. On Valentine’s Day in 1995, I sent her a single rose during dinner—right in front of everyone. She blushed, thanked me, and gently told me she had a boyfriend.

I still walked away feeling incredible.

Why? Because I took a risk. I faced a fear. And once again, I grew.

Most people do everything they can to avoid potential rejection, failure & embarrassment. Past pain convinces us it’s safer to stay small. But in both of those moments, fear and growth existed at the same time. I chose not to believe the lies my mind was telling me—and I grew because of it.

When we avoid emotional risk, we also block access to joy, excitement, and peace. This tension is universal and sits at the center of emotional health. Real growth happens when we face rejection or embarrassment and discover something essential: we’re strong enough to handle it.

If this was helpful, SUBSCRIBE TODAY and get instant access to my free video and worksheet: Shatterproof Yourself — 7 Small Steps to a Giant Leap in Your Confidence.

I often ask clients to take an emotional risk right in the middle of a session, and I’ve seen real transformation happen in those moments.

10 Scary Actions to Build Confidence and Overcome Fear

Directions: Mark the actions that would trigger the most fear/anxiety in you

1. Write a top 10 article (your top 10 tips on a topic of expertise) and share it with friends and family, asking for feedback.
2. Volunteer or agree to speak at an event on a topic of expertise or interest.
3. Text a friend you haven’t connected with recently, “thinking about you, how’s everything going?”
4. Reach out to someone you’ve never met who seems alone somewhere and start a conversation.
5. Go on a walk alone around your office or neighborhood, but invite a coworker or neighbor to join you.
6. Express disagreement with another person’s opinion calmly. Someone you don’t know well. For example, “I see things differently, and here’s why; tell me more about your thoughts here.” Here's how to have a courageous conversation.
7. Ask for help or advice from a neighbor or co-worker you’ve never reached out to before. For example, “Can you help me move my TV?” or “How do you set up a budget?”
8. Genuinely compliment a stranger. For example, “I like your shirt, purse, hat, dog, or smile, etc.”
9. Buy or make a gift for a neighbor or co-worker for their birthday or holiday.
10. Make a list of your top 10 questions to ask people and start asking.

Take More Action

If you found this list of 10 actions inspiring, I saved the best for my more comprehensive list of 27 actions.

Here's How To Use This List 

1. Identify the actions that make you nervous and choose one to do today. Growth begins the moment you act—even if it doesn’t go perfectly.

2. Talk it through with someone you trust. Sharing your apprehension often brings clarity and a more grounded perspective.

3. Journal the worst-case scenario. Write out what could happen and how you would handle it. You’ll likely discover you’re more capable than you think.

Download the 27 Actions Activity

Start Taking Action Today!

Related Content 

18 Ways to Build Self-Confidence (post) - by Adam Gragg
Kickstart Your Self-Confidence (post) - by Adam Gragg
How to Like & Value Yourself (post) - by Adam Gragg