How to Choose the Right Life Coach or Counselor (A Practical Guide)

Since founding Decide Your Legacy in 2012, I’ve worked with four different coaches. Each one played a meaningful role in helping me grow the business and myself as a leader.

The results you experience in coaching depend, in part, on the quality of the professional you choose. I’m often asked who I recommend—and while specific names vary, the qualities that matter do not.

Below are the key traits I believe every great coach must have. I hope that this list helps you make a wise, well-informed decision.

9 Qualities to Look for in a Coach

1. Are They Excited About Helping?

Do you get the sense they are excited about helping people overcome life challenges and reach personal goals? Do they seem burned out? Beware of the coach who isn't energized by their work. 

2. Are They Humble?

Do they assume they can help you before fully understanding your situation? Are they willing to admit when they’re not the right fit for a particular issue?

The best professionals know their strengths—and their limits. They aren’t afraid to refer you to someone with deeper expertise when needed, because their primary concern isn’t protecting their ego, but ensuring you get the best help possible.

3. Are They Confident?

True confidence comes from knowing what you can—and cannot—deliver. I’m confident in my ability to provide top-notch career coaching, but I would not claim the same when it comes to treating an eating disorder.

Every professional has a defined scope of practice. The right coach understands their area of expertise and is equally willing to acknowledge their limitations. That self-awareness protects you and leads to better outcomes.

4. Do They Get Results?

Ask about the results they’ve delivered for past clients. A coach who becomes defensive when discussing outcomes is a red flag.

If you were hiring a contractor to replace your roof, you’d ask about similar projects they’ve completed. Coaching should be no different—experience and results matter.

Watch the FREE Shatterproof Yourself Lite course—on your desktop or in the Decide Your Legacy app—and learn the 7 steps to a major boost in your confidence.

5. Are They Organized?

Pay attention to how they run their practice. Review their website. Notice how smoothly paperwork and scheduling are handled. Observe their office environment.

Do they seem prepared for your meetings? Are they consistently running late? Perfection isn’t the goal—but ongoing disorganization is usually a warning sign.

6. Are They Mature?

Experience does not equal maturity. Mature professionals know how to regulate their emotions. They remain proactive rather than reactive.

Ask yourself: even if they were dealing with personal stress, do you trust that they could still show up grounded, present, and capable of serving you well?

7. Are They Learners?

Do they demonstrate a commitment to continual learning? Are they curious, engaged, and growing in their craft?

Be cautious of anyone who gives the impression that graduate school taught them everything they need to know. The best professionals never stop learning.

Here are 25 books that have helped me grow professionally.

8. Are They Balanced?

Choose someone healthy and grounded to help you reach your goals. Do they have a life outside of work? Do they appear to prioritize both their physical and emotional well-being? Who they are matters just as much as what they teach.

That said, selecting the right coach is only part of the equation. Your results also depend on your willingness to do the work—following through on recommendations, completing assignments, and staying committed to the process.

If this was helpful, SUBSCRIBE TODAY and get instant access to my free video and worksheet: Shatterproof Yourself — 7 Small Steps to a Giant Leap in Your Confidence.

I hope that this framework helps you make a wise, confident choice so you can experience the growth and progress you’re seeking.

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