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A Simple & Powerful Stress Coping Tool

Posted by on 8:36 pm in Stress | 0 comments

Clients frequently ask for help in coping with stress. Most can identify the source of the tension (e.g. health, job, money, relationship, etc.), but they CANNOT figure out how to cope with the strain. They ruminate, which basically means that their minds get stuck on the issue. This article is to show you something you CAN do about whatever is bothering you.   Stress comes from focusing our energy on things we cannot change. Stop it! It’s an act of insanity. You’re wasting energy. It’s futile!   Before I share the...

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15 Ways Adults Can Make Friends

Posted by on 6:13 pm in Relationships | 0 comments

Recently I spent 3 hours with a close friend from high school. I feared reaching out to him because it had been over 5 years since we last connected. Thoughts like “he doesn’t want to see me”, “he’s too busy with his family”, and even “he doesn’t like me any more” stuck in my mind. The time together was encouraging, and none of my anxious thoughts were true. I need my buddies to stay mentally and emotionally healthy. Friends are SO important because they can …… Help you see...

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Anyone Can Struggle With Anxiety (Part 1)

Posted by on 12:58 pm in Stress | 6 comments

In 1998 I flew from Wichita to Phoenix on America West Airlines. We hit some turbulence going over the Rocky Mountains, the most severe I’ve ever experienced. Some passengers screamed and others prayed out loud. What probably lasted 15 minutes seemed to go on for hours. Our 737 eventually landed at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. After this experience I thought I was fine, but I was wrong. A few months later, I was scheduled to fly again. Before this flight, flying was fun. However, since that experience, my excitement had...

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Anyone Can Struggle With Anxiety (Part 2)

Posted by on 8:12 pm in Stress | 3 comments

What is anxiety? It’s a confusing thing. Here’s my best effort at explaining it in understandable language. Understanding something will help you overcome it. What is Anxiety? ~ Something that stifles your intuition & creativity ~ Something that steals your ability to trust yourself ~ Being consumed by the worst outcome happening ~ Being absorbed by bad things that happened in the past ~ A false belief that intensity keeps you safe ~ A false belief that productivity keeps you safe ~ An addictive pattern of avoidance of...

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Are You Emotionally Constipated? (Part 1)

Posted by on 5:55 pm in Relationships, Stress | 0 comments

I’m a middle child from a fairly loud and emotional family. Looking back, it seems like everyone expressed how they felt, except me. I decided at a young age to live inside my head and hide my feelings. As a therapist, I see a strong correlation between a lack of healthy emotionally expression with both depression and anxiety. “Live in your head, you’re dead” – Tony Robbins From age 16 to 22, I used alcohol to handle and contain my feelings. Some of these negative coping mechanisms become bad habits I still have...

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Are You Emotionally Constipated? (Part 2)

Posted by on 9:08 pm in Relationships, Stress | 0 comments

Being vulnerable on an emotional level is terrifying. One reason I became a therapist is to appear like I’ve got things together. When people come to me for help, I’m seen as the expert, therefore I remain in control. I’m more comfortable helping than being helped. Asking for help is scary. Not being in control is even more terrifying. I shared about how emotional constipation has damaged me and others in Are Your Emotionally Constipated (Part 1). Something I didn’t mention are some wrong motives for expressing your...

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Anyone Can Struggle With Depression (Part 1)

Posted by on 1:51 am in Stress | 0 comments

I’m ashamed of my past because it doesn’t go along with my desired image.  I want to be seen in a positive light and this can consume me. I fear being judged. There’s no freedom in this. I know image is crap, but it still hooks me. Shame and guilt keep me hiding the real me, and hiding sucks. Hiding causes depression. I’m ashamed that I used to drink heavily to cope. I lived in the pacific northwest in the early 90’s and became a fan of alternative “grunge” rock. I’ve been embarrassed to admit...

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The Ultimate Personal Vision Clarifying Activity

Posted by on 4:35 pm in Life Balance, Productivity | 0 comments

It’s transformed businesses. Changed the direction of families. Taken people from addiction to sobriety, from anxiety to hope, and from depression to excitement. What the heck is it? VISION. A positive view of what your future can become can transform your life. It’s hard work perceiving how good your life CAN be, especially if you’re anxious or depressed. Your mind won’t want to go there when in a funk, yet it’s probably just what it needs. “Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your...

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My 10 Favorite Questions to Ask Clients

Posted by on 4:59 pm in Relationships | 0 comments

Knowing the right things to ask makes a big difference. Here are three things I keep in mind when preparing questions for clients: 1. Great questions start with a “what”, “how”, or a “tell me about”. 2. Always be prepared with 2 or 3 powerful questions to start the session. 3. Powerful questions are simple. “Sometimes questions are more important than answers.” – Nancy Willard When I was going through the certification process to become a life coach, I was encouraged to keep a list handy...

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How to Find Clarity in Life

Posted by on 12:07 am in Life Balance | 2 comments

I had a problem in 7th grade at Andrew Carnegie Middle School. I was being bullied. Most of the bullying came at the hands of one kid in particular, but others participated as well. Hair spray was sprayed in my face, my bike was stolen, one kid even pooped on my front porch. I didn’t tell my parents for months. Of course they knew someone pooped on our front porch and someone stole my bike, but I chose to hide from them the details of my suffering. Bad Choice #1: I Didn’t Talk to Anyone About My Problem Bad Choice #2: I Did Not...

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